Hawaii in two weeks

So I'm going on a family vacation in two weeks to Hawaii, and though I'm excited I'm also dreading spending an entire week with my family. Don't get me wrong, I love them to death but vacations are not always fun especially in this case. Let me elaborate, first of all I really, really, really hate being a 'tourist' - if I'm somewhere on vacation I want to blend in as much as possible. During my high school class trip to Germany I kind of happened to get separated from the heard of backpack carrying students - then and only then did I manage to walk in a store and have the clerk actually start to talk German. Otherwise it was like shooting fish in a barrel for the Germans to pick us out of the crowd.

Since this is the family's first time to Hawaii, everyone wants to do the typical tourist spots. Honestly I wouldn't mind seeing the volcanos, national parks, Pearl Harbor, etc but fuck thats all we'll be doing. Walking around with backpacks and cameras in hand getting it all. My camera is about as small as they come for a decent digital camera - and that is for a very specific reason: so it can stay in my pocket unnoticed for as much as possible. I have this aversion to people seeing me take pictures - again it makes me look like a tourist. I would much rather rent a scooter and find the real Hawaii that is typical for everyday citizens, and maybe learn more about the islands before the American invasion.

Have I talked about my family yet? I already know Mom will be hyperventilating just about every time something goes even remotely awry. We will 'have' to be at the airport two hours before the plane leaves, even though it won't leave until we get there since its a private plane. Dad will do nothing but have a grumpy face every time a meal is served. He comes from the theory about food; if its more than basic meat and potatoes it isn't worth eating. I hope we have 'weird' shit every day just so he has no choice, but I'm sure he'll escape to a McDonalds anyway. Any my brother, well he'll probably be alright and just stick with me most of the time - I haven't decided if thats a good thing or not.

Being out won't be an option. Its my philosophy only to be out to people that truly matter in my life and that it completely true, but that doesn't include extended family who will also be with us. I don't mind hearing, "Got a girlfriend?" at a family gathering - they only last the afternoon or evening. But this is a whole week and I'm kind of pissed about it because I don't feel comfortable coming out to some of these people - my great grandma especially. So guess what, I'm going to be straight in two weeks - and I'm so screwed. I've lost 'Who can act straight to longest' to a former drag queen.