All Saints Day

I'm not Catholic, but I went to a Catholic university and I recall learning that November 1 was All Saints Day, but I don't really recall what the deal was. I imagine it has something to do with the dead, but thats neither here nor there. I'm just sitting at work right now and not really getting much done - I'm void of all inspiration, creativity or motivation.

I actually attended a Halloween party this weekend, and though it wasn't as raucous as I had been expecting (damn people not showing up) it was the first for me...ever! I've also been working on a New Year's resolution that just happens to be about New Year's Eve - I'm going out. December 31st will mark a year since I found the courage to face up to my social anxiety and do something about it. Last year I spent the night locked in my room, crying from the frustration of such illogical anxiety. Shortly after I met a doctor and started taking Lexapro, but like many others I felt I no longer needed it and then health insurance left me as did my previous place of employment. I found Lexapro to be quite helpful and I never suffered any side-effects of notice, and I think most of my close friends would have positive comments to make about my progress. Lately I have been thinking about starting a treatment of Lexapro again, and maybe adding in some talk-therapy but I'm still on the fence.

I can call people these days without fear, and taking out the trash no longer has to be done at 3 in the morning. I am able to make eye-contact with other drivers and not freak out when it happens. Public restrooms aren't so much a challenge anymore, but maybe thats not such a good thing. ;)